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Best Baseball Songs Ever: Nelly – Batter Up

April 10, 2011

Nelly – Batter Up (2000)

I often wonder what’s going through my 83 year-old father’s head when he’s exposed to our culture’s rougher edges. He’s a pretty straight guy. To this day, he still suits up and goes to the office every morning. It is because of him that I fell in love with baseball and while the Great American Past-time is generally a safe haven from the vulgarities of modern life, it is certainly not immune – whether from ear-blasting transitions of Fox game coverage to the terrible music that frequently intrudes at the ballpark – and I can’t help be offended for him, even if he seemingly doesn’t care. In my eyes, the man simply deserves to live in an aesthetically more pleasing world.

While frequently there is no escape, sometimes there is a choice, which is why there should be a rating system, where parents are restricted from material unless their children say it’s okay. For example, I told my mom not to take my dad to Black Swan. I knew it was not suitable viewing. But like a petulant teenager, she ignored me. And yes, they both regretted it. No doubt, some of the images haunt my dad today. Like when Mila Kunis was going down on Natalie Portman? What could my dad have been thinking? For me, it was actually the best part of a tedious, cliche-ridden film. For him, he must think the apocalypse has already begun.

It’s times like this when I am embarrassed for our culture. I can’t help but I wonder if my dad feels like the future has let him down. Worse, I somehow feel responsible. Unfortunately, he won’t talk to me about these things. He either changes the topic or hands the phone off to my mom. In the end, I suspect the thoughts in his head aren’t nearly as bad as I think they are. He probably just filters it all out.

While ordinarily “Batter Up” is just the kind of the spectacle I’d want to shield my father from, perversely, I would, however, like to see him watch Nelly break it down St. Louis-style since like Nelly, my father is a lifelong Cardinals fan. Surely he would find the rump-shaking in the video scandalous. Most certainly, he wouldn’t understand the use of The Jeffersons Theme Song, or even know who The Jeffersons are. Would he have any idea  what “Smoke some herb and clear your mind” means? Unlikely.

My dad, however, would probably agree with Nelly’s sentiment, “What the fuck wrong with the world today? With these girls today?” They’d probably also both concur that if the Cardinals are going to make a run for it this year, they better get another starting pitcher to replace the injured Adam Wainwright.

Nelly – Batter Up MP3

Since, it’s unembeddable, check out the uncensored (although stretched) video here. Inexplicably, on Nelly’s channel, it’s censored here.

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